AIBF, Aunty Monkey Parties, Australians and Kangaroo Suits

[Chris Liberti]

We just returned from Albuquerque and an absolutely ridiculous week of parties, friends, family and flying. We have been attending the Fiesta for over 30 years now and flying it for 16, and with the exception of a few shitty years here and there, it keeps getting better every year. Despite sometimes iffy flying conditions (remember, it's always pilots discretion) this year was one of the most outrageous parties we've ever been to. And one of the most educational too.

So here are a few things I've learned and experienced over the course of the 2009 Balloon Fiesta:

• If you are persistent, things will happen. I've been busting the balls of so many of the Aussie contingent for the last 2 years trying to "convince" them to make the trip. We had Linda McCall a few years ago and liked her accent enough that we tried to get her back. We pushed for Linda and ended up getting Adam Barrow instead. Talk about your all-time backfires. Good accent, but much less attractive.

• The word "Epic" just can't be used enough. Neither can the following: mate, chicky-babe, dominant, champion, cockface, indian burn, wanker, bloke, pissed (drunk, not mad), and Radowski.

• MCM Elegante hotel bar. With the right friends, it can be Epic (see! told ya!).

• Andrew Avon is a wanker for not coming. No forgiveness.

• If the minimum altitude is 75 feet over the field, then stay at or above 75 feet. It will keep you from hitting things you shouldn't hit.

• Despite what some people say, Ladybugs can be quite manly and very hottie-friendly.

• The Aunty Monkey tailgate party was once again a solid exploration into the depths of debauchery and decadence. What other post-flight tailgate parties can you go to that include stripper poles, kabobs, an unfair amount of beer, root-beer white russians, and full-on volleyball matches? The Margaritaville party, that's where.

• If some dickhole decides to drive his golf-cart through your volleyball game, make sure that he doesn't run over the stabilizing ropes that hold the net in place. That guy was a bigger buzzkill than Buzz Killington.

• We gave away like 1000 balloon cards of the ladybug balloon, most of which were to kids. Most of whom had no manners. Oh well, what do you do? Have a beer, that's what.

• Daisy and I had the opportunity to meet close to 20 new ballooning family, many of whom are on (or will soon be on) the Monkey. That doesn't even take into consideration all the folks we have met in the past. Where else can you see all these people, all at the same time in the same place at the same party?

• If you depend strictly on the forecast that Balloon Fiesta gives you at pilots briefing, you are crazy. Get your own weather...you'll be surprised at the contrast. Oh, and if the forecast is for winds picking up later in the morning, then you should expect the winds to pick up later in the morning. Basic, right?

• I brought a shit-ton of Colorado micro-brews to share with Adam, but we drank them before he got there. Next time he won't wait till Tuesday to show up!

• I have never been to Australia, but I like it there anyway. Where else can you call someone a chicky-babe?

• I am on my way to the store right now to buy me a Kangaroo Suit, which I'm going to wear while hunting for Irish babes.

Overall the 2009 Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta was absolutely out of hand. We couldn't have had a better time with a better crowd, but are always willing to explore that possibility. I used to love the flying there, but have really shifted to enjoying it much more for the people and parties, with flying being very secondary. This is an amazing community of great friends and good times, and I couldn't have had more fun. We can't wait till 2010 and the 4th annual Aunty Monkey tailgate party!

[Mike Hernandez]

Agreed, the Lady Bug is quite manly and my lady gets all hot when I fly it. I would expect Avon to be Fiesta bound for 2010. Hell, the Hernandez's may even grace your presence!

[Andrew Robertson]

It could have been worse... we could have sent Adam over there 20 years ago... mullet and all.

[Adam]

thanks mate and thats closer to 25 years ago.

[Adam]

Dude, here are some of the things I learnt from Fiesta this year:

• Use of the word Dude is mandatory

• Daisy is so much hotter in person than in the pics on AM

• Use of the word C*%T is not acceptable in polite circles in the USA, thankfully I wasn’t in any polite circles

• Despite being illegal and lethal in an accident, 17 people in the back of a pickup doing 40miles an hour when its 2 degrees outside is quite entertaining, once your jaw and cheeks thaw back out.

• Lulu is a massive flirt and loves to shake her pink bits all about

• If you want to drink Colorado Micro-Brews turn up for the Sat BBQ, not the wednesday boat party as the other
fuckers will have inhaled them all.

• Tom and Steph are just awesome and should be made saints of balloon tailgating.

• If someone wants to “pin you Albuquerque style” just go with the flow, arms in the air, breathe in and cough.

• Do not hang out with Michael Glen, see the above point

• I was surprised that my exceptional good looks were further enhanced by my “totally awesome, can you say that again” accent

• US chicky-babes dig Aussie accents, unfortunatey, so do a lot of US dudes

• You cannot be a balloonist in the US unless you drive some planet destroying, big ass mother of a truck towing an equally enormous trailer getting a MAX of 3 mpg

• I didn’t know that the first balloonists used prisioners as flight test dummies, amazing what Chris knows

• I let the whole country down by not making the monkey party, but redeemed myself with a solid 16 hours with the margherita-ville/MCM bar EPIC that took no prisoners, which is unfortunate as they could have been used as per the previous point

• DO NOT book a 24 hour flight for 7am the morning after the last night of fiesta and expect to turn up without a
hangover.

• Despite claims to the contrary, there is no room for an Alcohol Free Day at Fiesta, nor sleep.

Thanks to all who loaded me with booze and I got to chat with while there. Thanks most of all to Chris and Anna for asking me along, letting me drink their beer, and for being able to talk as much shit as I can. Thanks also the the raminder of the Liberti Family and their teams.

It was an honour, and I hope to see you all again soon.

[Michael Glen]

Hey it wasn't me doing the pinning and you asked so my female crew had to do it, next time you come over you better be bringing some Bundaberg!! It was great meeting you in person and one of these days I will be there to fly with you and the offer still stands on flying my balloon.

[Dawn Chase]

Adam, you were ONLY hungover for the flight home? You didn't drink enough! Sorry I missed the EPIC party this year!

[Gregg Ski]

Aussie Dude -- sorry I drank all your micro brews, ma-ate. The green chile brew was awesome -- although the way you said your first Dos Hermanos burrito went through you, the beer would have been an oral enema. See you again soon. And I tried on the roo scrotum cover, it fits perfectly.

Chrissy -- you were the shit this week. Flying high, flying far, flying heaps of people. Back to the field one day, Renaissance another, Corrales another and RR another. Two hops, a splash-and-dash on each hop -- that was sweet. Some great time aloft. Methinks you need an even bigger truck and destroying more of the planet. As Adam said, the Aussie/China pact now being ratified means the USA's days are numbered anyway, so don't leave 'em anything to take over. Your truck was draggin ass half of the days this year -- we didn't break the record but I think we had 20 in the truck one day and 19 the day before. Of course if the Avon Lady shows up next year, maybe he can borrow some crew from you. Maybe we'll even get a pilot (with balloon) from Down Under next year. The Monkey party was a windy, wild blast. And I think you headed into that from a 12-beer Monday. You are a stud. And you got a mutherfocking boat to take home. You're my hero.

What a great time, what a great bunch of peeps. Here's to all of you -- those whose friendship was rekindled and those whose friendship was lit for the first time.

[DarkStar Balloon Team]

No need to "borrow", people will straight up want to crew with me!!!
Why deal with Foreplay when you can get the Darkstar???
Sounds like you just signed up!

[Gregg Ski]

Bring it on! I'll crew for ya both -- we can tether you guys together.
All for one and one for all!

[Dawn Chase]

I'll crew for whom ever gives me a place to sleep and lots of liquor!

[Justin Galbraith]

I'm trying to get over the fact that someone let Adam leave Australia as a ambassador and that the americans think he's o.k?
If they'll put up with him they'll certainly put up with the rest of us ;-)
Mate if the aussie dollar keeps climbing against the greenback we'll be able to afford to take our pet koala's and kangaroo's with us that would be epic.
Hell I'll bring the drop bears and hoop snakes as well that'll get the american chicky-babes all warmed up.
Crikey we even have a traffic light here in Sydney now so we know how to use them and tight right loose left in a big arse mother of a truck can't be too hard unless some wanker gets upset.
We'll bring the fosters because no one here wants to drink it. I've got a big knife ready too for when we get pissed.
Struth we could bring some crocs for croc races at the tail gate party.

Nice write up Chris makes me wish I could have been there.

[Barb Smith]

WOW AIBF sounds amazing - we need to try some of this tailgating here in Oz - maybe at Canberra next year - we need you guys to come and show us how because we won't believe a word Adam says - never do!! Thank goodness he's finally found some friends - one a giant pink fluffy bird - oh wait a minute - that's not unusual for Adam : )