Flying and Marriage

[Justin Galbraith]

In the world of marriage and flying, one single rule applies to the men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points, get enough points and you get to go flying.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted, lose to many and your grounded.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+ But return
with
Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy
(-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the
colours of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks
like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realises this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)



Now what chance do you have???
__________________

[michelle swinton]

does your wife know you wrote this?

[Robert Fear]

haha. very nice. I don't think I will get married. I'm no good at keeping track of points. Unless I get lucky and find a female pilot, then I might get married and we will just argue over who gets to fly that morning.

[Drew Egerton]

I can't help but notice that there are significantly more negative values than positive.....yeah, I think that's about right.

[Mike Hernandez]

It all comes down to the actual person that you marry. Luckily my wife is more into ballooning than I am and I am the Pilot....

[Kevin Kamp]

Very funny. And often the funniest things have a kernel of truth in them.

[Barb Smith]

Whoot ! I love the physique - "It doesn't matter because you have one to!!" Oh so true ........

[Jerry Cooke]

I'm lucky my wife is devoted to football (Besiktas & Chelsea) so loves sports bars & its my job (& our only income) so she cant stop me going flying even if she is mad with me.

[niks r/c balloon platoon]

lol mikes so funny hopefuly I do find a wife thats wants to be a pilot also

[Andrew Robertson]

I just got busted for the bedspread over the rumpled sheets. Thanks to you, now Kath has started the point system :-)

[mark mitchell]

if you take her out for a romantic balloon flight and do a screamer of a landing just because you know you can wont impress her (-50 points) lol